Sta.sh
No, not really, but it got you to look, didn't it? Or, at the very least, you giggled a little. Maybe rolled your eyes. Hey, it got a reaction.
So, on to the real issue at hand: username changes.
This is a peaceful protest - protesting the inability to change our usernames.
Who here hates their usernames?
Say you created your first account when you were, oh, fourteen - and now you're 20, and absolutely can't stand that lame "fan"tastic name you chose. Your obsessions have changed, from InuYasha and Full Metal Alchemist to Burn Notice and Glee. Or maybe you still love InuYasha and FMA, but you're tired of that muffled little lol that goes around the chatroom when you admit that your first username was sesshomaruslover4eva.
So, what do you do about it? You pick your new, cooler username, awesomedeviantx, create a new account, and leave your old embarassments to the trolls and snark-mongers. Go, you rascally lulzers... go get 'em.
Dude, give it up, it's all been said before, it's a common complaint/feedback, etc.
Well, yes, as a matter of fact, it IS a very common subject. So why are we still dealing with it?
Obviously, dA never deletes old accounts. As explained in the Feedback Forum, under Things That Will Never Happen, it's because 1. sometimes those old, archived records are needed, and 2. the deviant who created that account 3 years ago might one day decide to come back to it. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Deviants all over have been grumbling about this for quite some time. And dA has always been great about listening to the people, instituting changes in the system to make the site more functional, optional, optimal, and other words that end in -al. But this one just hasn't happened.
Why not? It's a relatively simple thing to do, and it would make a LOT of deviants happy. (Because let's be honest... who's going to take you seriously when your username is sesshomaruslover4eva? Or sonicxtails666? Or purplenekokitty? Yeah. I know it.)
And guess what, dA Staff - you could be making money off of this!
~ThisMechaJunkie had a really good point here. Make deviants happy, make a bit of profit. Kill two birds with one stone. dA is a place of revolution, of being ahead of the times... now let's get with the times!
tl;dr: This is a call-out to all you deviants who are fed up with your username. Join the peaceful protest; let your voice (well, keys) be heard. Seen. Whatever. [link] This is the system that we want... let's show dA how much we want it!
Spread the word; fave and link - tell your friends!
Don't get stuck with your boring/creepy/fangirly old username! We're moving on! 
So, on to the real issue at hand: username changes.
This is a peaceful protest - protesting the inability to change our usernames.
Who here hates their usernames?
Say you created your first account when you were, oh, fourteen - and now you're 20, and absolutely can't stand that lame "fan"tastic name you chose. Your obsessions have changed, from InuYasha and Full Metal Alchemist to Burn Notice and Glee. Or maybe you still love InuYasha and FMA, but you're tired of that muffled little lol that goes around the chatroom when you admit that your first username was sesshomaruslover4eva. So, what do you do about it? You pick your new, cooler username, awesomedeviantx, create a new account, and leave your old embarassments to the trolls and snark-mongers. Go, you rascally lulzers... go get 'em.
Dude, give it up, it's all been said before, it's a common complaint/feedback, etc.
Well, yes, as a matter of fact, it IS a very common subject. So why are we still dealing with it?
Obviously, dA never deletes old accounts. As explained in the Feedback Forum, under Things That Will Never Happen, it's because 1. sometimes those old, archived records are needed, and 2. the deviant who created that account 3 years ago might one day decide to come back to it. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Deviants all over have been grumbling about this for quite some time. And dA has always been great about listening to the people, instituting changes in the system to make the site more functional, optional, optimal, and other words that end in -al. But this one just hasn't happened.
Why not? It's a relatively simple thing to do, and it would make a LOT of deviants happy. (Because let's be honest... who's going to take you seriously when your username is sesshomaruslover4eva? Or sonicxtails666? Or purplenekokitty? Yeah. I know it.
)And guess what, dA Staff - you could be making money off of this!
~ThisMechaJunkie had a really good point here. Make deviants happy, make a bit of profit. Kill two birds with one stone. dA is a place of revolution, of being ahead of the times... now let's get with the times!
tl;dr: This is a call-out to all you deviants who are fed up with your username. Join the peaceful protest; let your voice (well, keys) be heard. Seen. Whatever. [link] This is the system that we want... let's show dA how much we want it!
Spread the word; fave and link - tell your friends!
Don't get stuck with your boring/creepy/fangirly old username! We're moving on! 
If there is a person who is serious about changing their username, they will most likely only change it once. People will be happy to be able to changing their usernames but dA will be happy because they will get money for people who change their name for than 3 times! Win-win situation!
I figured when I made my account that I'd better be sure to have a username I was content with, so I actually thought about it for a while, and wound up with something that pertained to me but didn't pertain to my current interests that would probably go away and leave me stuck with a username that was meaningless anymore. So far, it has served me well.